Another round of grading essays has left me with another observation :
Some students have better flow than others. Students who try their darnest to vary structures as they attempt to maintain relevance, make sense, use challenging words, and illustrate in detail actually do worse !
What do so-called simple writers do that work all the time ?
They maintain good flow.
Let’s take this question : Is work-life balance a realistic aim ?
The topic is “work-life balance”
The key word is “realistic”
Each sentence in the paragraph keeps the topic and keyword in mind, and the idea in a sentence is always connected to the idea in the previous sentence.
Here is an example of a paragraph. The flow from one sentence to another is reflected in the coloured words.
Blue words show how the entire point flows
Red words show how the point flows back to the question, topic and keyword
Work-life balance is not realistic for everyone because of the way work is organised. The 24/7 work culture here means that many workers do not hold regular nine-to-five jobs. Singapore, and many cities alike, have huge service sectors that cater to not only tourists and businessmen, but the general masses as well. Good service and efficiency involves making sufficient staff available almost all of the time. This means that these workers will get fewer regular days off, like weekends, with their families. Those who cannot work around their work schedule will inevitably find that they lack work-life balance.
Other paragraphs about the way work is organised :
Apart from service-related work, even workers who work regular hours, or have the luxury of working from home will not necessarily find better work-life balance …
Workers are not the only ones affected. The growing culture of enterpreneurship also adversely affects work-life balance of the enterpreneurs themselves, ….